WORDS TO REMEMBER: DANCE LIKE NOBODY’S WATCHING
Another month has come and gone and with it has come more tragedy in the accidental death of a 17-year old niece. A special message came to me during that time and I’d like to share it with you now – with the hope that we may all dance like nobody’s watching……
My brother-in-law opened the bottom drawer of my sister’s bureau and lifted out a tissue-wrapped package. “This,” he said “is not a slip. This is lingerie.” He discarded the tissue and handed me the slip. It was exquisite; silk, handmade and trimmed with a cobweb of lace.
The price tag with an astronomical figure on it was still attached. “Jan bought this the first time we went to Vancouver; at least 8 or 9 years ago. She never wore it. She was saving it for a special occasion.
Well, I guess this is the occasion. He took the slip from me and put it on the bed with the other clothes we were taking to the mortician. His hands lingered on the soft material for a moment, then he slammed the drawer shut and turned to me.
“Don’t ever save anything for a special occasion. Every day you’re alive is a special occasion”. I remembered those words through the funeral and the days that followed when I helped him and my niece attend to all the sad chores that follow an unexpected death.
I thought about them on the plane returning west from the prairie town where my sister’s family lives. I thought about all the things that she hadn’t seen or heard or done. I thought about the things that she had done without realizing that they were special.
I’m still thinking about his words and they’ve changed my life. I’m reading more and dusting less. I’m sitting on the deck and admiring the view without fussing about the weeds in the garden. I’m spending more time with my family and friends and less time in committee meetings. Whenever possible, life should be a pattern of experience to savor; not endure. I’m trying to recognize these moments now and cherish them.
I’m not “saving” anything; we use our good china and crystal for every special event – such as losing a pound, getting the sink unstopped, the first rose blossom. I wear my good blazer to the market if I feel like it. My theory is if I look prosperous, I can shell our $28.49 for one small bag of groceries without wincing. I’m not saving my good perfume for special parties; clerks in hardware stores and tellers in banks have noses that function as well as my party-going friends.
“Someday” and “one of these days” are losing their grip on my vocabulary. If it’s worth seeing or hearing or doing, I want to see and hear and do it now.
I’m not sure what my sister would’ve done had she known that she wouldn’t be here for the tomorrow we all take for granted. I think she would have called family members and a few close friends to apologize and mend fences for past squabbles.
I like to think she would have gone out for a Chinese dinner, her favorite food. I’m guessing – I’ll never know. It’s those little things left undone that would make me angry if I knew that my hours were limited. Angry because I put off seeing good friends whom I was going to get in touch with – someday. Angry because I hadn’t written certain letters that I intended to write – one of these days. Angry and sorry that I didn’t tell my husband often enough how much I truly love him.
I’m trying very hard not to put off, hold back or save anything that would add laughter to our lives. Any every morning when I open my eyes, I tell myself that it is special. Every day, every minute, every breath truly is a gift from God.You’ve got to dance like nobody’s watching and live like it’s never going to hurt….people say true friends must always hold hands, but true friends don’t need to hold hands – because they know the other hand will always be there.
October, 2001 – Thompsons’ Antiques Gazette